Week 7: Holding Our Belovedness & Brokenness
April Newsletter: Bearing witness to our Core Self. "Woven into the fabric of our souls is a capacity for true strength." From Wounds to Wisdom Series.
Dear Readers,
Thank you for reading! This newsletter is part of my lenten From Wounds to Wisdom series. I’m honored you’re here, taking a deep breath with me, and engaging in soul care.
The goal of this journey is freedom. Not shame or burden. It is to know ourselves more deeply, have compassion on ourselves, and receive love, as we are. Beloved and broken. Seeing ourselves as beloved, and the ‘unshakable goodness’ as Father Greg says, of those around us, has the capacity to change the world for the better.
“The Core Self is what is left when all else falls away. It is like the sun, shining 24/7, even when it is covered by storm clouds. It's there, even when we can't see it. Everyone has a Core Self, even if they haven’t experienced it in a long time.” ~ IFS Therapist, Emma Donovan
Holding our Belovedness & Brokenness
For many of us it is easier to see our brokenness, than our belovedness. Our faults loom large and tuning into our strengths, our beauty, is obscured from our vision. The infamous Twelve Step Step 4 moral inventory includes all of ourselves, our positive traits and negatives tendencies as well. It invites us to bear witness to our whole selves with compassion.
As mentioned in the last monthly newsletter, in Internal Family Systems language we have a Core Self unblemished by our wounds, unobscured by our strategies, addictions, behaviors, and tendencies.
In Peter Levine’s words at a Somatic Trauma Healing Training:
“There is a part of ourselves that lives beyond any trauma and is eternally whole and undamaged.” ~ Peter Levine
Read that and the above quote again. How does that sit with you? How do you feel reading that?
I invite you to contemplate your belovedness and brokenness, not in your head but with your heart, soul, body.
I encourage you to read the below quote slowly, meditating on the words by Irish poet, theologian and philosopher, John Philip Newell. Perhaps read it a few times, noticing what words or phrases stand out. Then sit with that word and invite God to speak with you and talk about it.
“…We are made in the image of God. Woven into the fabric of our souls is a capacity for true strength. This is not to pretend that failure is not a major mark of the ways in which we try to exercise power or of the ways in which we try to love one another… Deeper than the failures of our lives, however, is the strength of our inner being…unless we love our true selves, formed by God in our mother's womb, the love that we try to offer others will be infected by the same doubts and lack of reverence that we have for ourselves.” ~ John Philip Newell
Pause. Notice how you feel before continuing with the below prompts.
Journal Prompts:
As best as you are able, without judgment, choose a few prompts and free-write your responses. In this time of reflection, pay attention to which feels more challenging for you, naming your beauty or your brokenness.
o How does it feel to witness your belovedness and brokenness?
o Recall a recent time when your mind returned to what was true about yourself or another. How did that feel?
o Describe qualities of your Core self.
o If you were to name some of your parts that drive your behaviors you’d like to change, what names would you give them? In Sue Monk Kidd's book, When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life's Sacred Questions, she gives names and characters to her various false selves.
o Choose one. What fear drives that personae or behavior? Check out the basic fears for different Enneagram types and see what connects.
Choose Your Own Adventure: Practices & Newsletters
Below are a few resources to continue your reflection.
The Wisdom of the Enneagram’s Basic Fears
Week 3: Uncluttering our Core Self
“The practice of contemplation proceeds by the gradual removal of layers of clutter so that the radiant ground of light now shines less lumbered and encumbered.” ~ Martin Laird, The Ocean of Light
Guided Internal Family Systems Meditations:
There are lots of guided meditations on Insight Timer, below are a couple I found with a quick search. One a Christian IFS Meditation to connect to Core Self and another by Richard Schwartz who created IFS.
Podcasts:
On Being: Here are a variety of podcasts, poems, and quotes, including a beautiful interview with John O’Donohue.
Books:
Movement:
If you are able, try a slow gratitude walk, noticing the weight of each foot on the ground, giving thanks for as many things as you can think of.
Even if not used to yoga, you might try listening and engaging with the first 4 minutes of this guided practice.