Spiritual direction as prayer & midwifery
August Newsletter: Soul Care Groups are Back, Resources, and Prompts
Upcoming Soul Care for Wounded Healer Events
Soul Care Groups: TWO groups
Second Tuesdays, starting August 13th, geared for helping professionals (former or current), rooted in Christian tradition.
Fourth Fridays, starting August 28th. New Soul Care Group for DV/SA Advocates!
If your first group, please sign up so I can get to know you a bit! https://www.bethanydearbornhiser.com/events/dv-advocate-soul-care-for-wounded-healers-group
“Spiritual direction is a way of prayer, one of many approaches to talking and listening with God. But in this prayer practice, another person a spiritual director- assists you in releasing your stories and questions to God and then helps you to hear God's responses more clearly.
~Therese Stinton Taylor, Embodied Spirits: Stories of Spiritual Directors of Color
In a few months I’ll finish up my School of Spiritual Direction through Soul Formation. I am all the more convinced of the value of this role, for all people.
Many have become disillusioned with institutional religion. Much is being said and done in the name of religion that is hard to fathom or stand behind, on all sides. Yet we as a people are emotional, physical, and spiritual beings. We have questions, heartaches, and I would say an innate desire to connect with the Divine, with a ‘supreme intelligence’, Higher Power.
Unlike counseling or coaching, meeting with a spiritual director is an invitation to accompaniment throughout life. It is not remedial, trying to fix a problem, it is deep listening to the soul and to God with us. The focus is one’s connection, affective experience or lack thereof of God, not necessarily what one thinks about God.
Therese Stinton Taylor, who founded the Spiritual Directors of Color Network, continues by writing:
“A spiritual director, with questions and with silence, in complete confidentiality, helps us to perceive the new thing God yearns to bring forth in our lives. And with this awareness, we may envision what we are invited to do and who we are invited to become to cooperate with God's desires.”
In Spanish, it is better referred to as Acompanamiento Espiritual, ie Spiritual Accompaniment. The word ‘direction’ can be confusing and misleading. A spiritual director is with you in your journey of spirituality, not directing which way to go. But more inviting you to pause, notice, and perhaps becoming more aware of God in your life, for yourself and the sake of others.
In fact, picture less of an executive director and more of a midwife, tending to one with a cool wash cloth in the pains of labor; creating space and bearing witness to growth, grief, and joys.
Margaret Guenther, spiritual director and author of Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction, writes:
A midwife sees clearly what the birthgiver cannot see. She knows the transition period—a time of desolation, of seemingly unimaginable pain and nausea—to be a sign of breakthrough and great progress. She can encourage and interpret when the birthgiver feels she has lost control and failed. She knows when the birthgiver should push, when she should hold back, when she should breathe deeply, and when to pant in shallow breaths. The mother's body should know this instinctively, but fear and pain may cause her to forget.
The midwife knows how and when to confront. The art of confrontation is a delicate one, and it is sometimes mistakenly confused with a clumsy attack. To confront is quite literally to face another; in midwifery, both physical and spiritual, the helper's loving detachment can bring clarity to the situation. Sometimes it is a simple acknowledgment of the intensity of pain: "Don't be afraid to complain, even to scream. Don't be afraid to ask for relief." - Margaret Guenther, Holy Listening
Take a moment to pause,
inhale
exhale.
don’t be afraid to complain, even to scream.
don’t be afraid to ask for relief.
This journey can be hard.
You don’t need to journey alone.
Quotes for Meditation:
Living a contemplative life, including the practice of spiritual direction, provides personal and communal benefit that allows for a healthier and more effective connection with God's desire for weird joy and abundance in our lives, and constructs a habitat in our hearts where we can experience spiritual freedom.
Ineda Pearl Adesanya, Embodied Spirits: Stories of Spiritual Directors of Color
Journal Prompts:
What do you think of spiritual direction?
What yearnings in your heart do you have?
What would it be like for you to be heard, to have someone create space for witnessing your inner spiritual life?
What is the habitat of your heart?
In what way would you like to experience spiritual freedom?
I always welcome your comments and reflections! Below are some tools to aid your discovery, and potential pursuit of spiritual direction.
I do have limited availability for individual appointments this fall, so reach out to me if you are interested, feeling a draw to meet with me. It is a tender joy and privilege to accompany those I get to walk alongside.
with gratitude,
Bethany Dearborn Hiser
RESOURCES
In no particular order, some Spiritual Director Search Websites:
SD International (various faith traditions): https://www.sdicompanions.org/
Spiritual Directors of Color Network: https://sdcnetwork.org/
Soul Formation https://www.soulformation.org/find-spiritual-director
Ignatian Center for Spirituality https://www.ignatiancenter.org/spiritual-direction-seek-find-service Seattle/US
Transforming Center https://transformingcenter.org/spiritual-direction-4/spiritual-directors/ US
Companioning Center https://www.companioningcenter.org/
Soul Care (Canada based) https://soulcare.ca/soul-care-spiritual-directors/
Recommended External Resources:
Whatever your politics, navigating US elections can be stressful! Check out this free Made for Pax resource of Contemplative Practices as we near the 2024 election.
Another free resource by Osheta Moore and Made for Pax, 7 embodied prayers to engage in throughout the day.
Here’s a deck of cards created by Fall Creek Abbey to further your inner exploration:
BURNOUT & RECOVERY RESOURCE LIST (Hay varias en Español también). If you have recommendations, I'd love to hear about them!
INSIGHT TIMER GUIDED MEDITATIONS:
I’ve recorded some of my soul care group meditations for your listening and prayerful contemplation on-the-go. I welcome your rating and sharing of the meditations.
SOUL CARE FOR WOUNDED HEALER: CUSTOMIZED NON-PROFIT WORKSHOPS
Based on the book, From Burned Out to Beloved, workshops integrate discussion questions, grounding activities, trauma research, recovery tools, contemplative practices, and other spiritual disciplines. They seek to improve the overall well-being of individuals, enhance organizational culture, and improve sustainability and effectiveness in work.
Workshop topics can be combined or tailored specifically for your group. Contact me to start the conversation.
Bethany Dearborn Hiser is the Director of Soul Care for Northwest Family Life, a network of therapists trained to work with survivors of domestic violence and sexual trauma.
She is the author of From Burned Out to Beloved: Soul Care for Wounded Healers. For more about her, her book, or workshops she offers, visit:
Thanks for this post. I'm a Spiritual Director as well and believe we need to spread the word about the benefits of this practice that not many people know about! I actually posted this week about it and if you're open to it, would love to include your name in the list of SDs that I provide at the end - https://journeyingalongside.substack.com/p/the-hidden-gem-of-spiritual-direction