Good Friday: Allowing Ourselves to Feel
Good Friday: After allowing himself to weep, in the presence of his Father, Jesus then relinquishes it all.
Jesus was "overcome with grief " in the garden of Gethsemane (Mark 14:34, The Passion Translation.) Yet he also followed this with letting go of his need for security, affection, and control. In the presence of his Father, he relinquished it all and embraced the moment for what it was.
After allowing himself to weep, in the presence of his Father, Jesus then relinquishes it all.
From that point on, I envision Jesus moving through the events of Friday, of the Passion, fully present and engaged. He doesn't dissociate which is common for those experiencing immense trauma. He stays present. Sometimes answering Pilates questions, sometimes silent. He knows who he is and has relinquished control. Â
If you’d like, read through the passages slowly (Mark 14:32-15:47), entering with your imagination, noticing how Jesus responds.
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On the cross he is offered and refuses 'wine mixed with gall'-- a normal painkiller offered to those who were crucified. He wanted to say present. He even demonstrates a beautiful last loving gesture to care for his mother and friend, perhaps speaking in a barely audible voice, with a final death rattle.
He embodies the Welcoming Prayer Practice.
It is so hard to allow ourselves to feel, to not shove or deny our emotions. As we’ve explored, Welcoming Prayer practice invites us to allow ourselves to feel, to welcome God with us in our emotions, and then to let go, surrendering to God our normal human needs for security, affection, and control.
As I share in my book:
"When I notice I'm feeling a negative emotion, I want to jump quickly to letting go of that feeling because it doesn't feel good. I want to be rid of it and then to connect with God and experience peace. Yet Welcoming Prayer invites us to notice the emotion and feel it in our bodies, to sit with it and welcome God with us. It invites us to not reject, deny, or react from the emotion but to say,
‘God, I need you. Come be with me in this. It feels awful. Hold me.’
In that place of pain--not after--we experience God's loving embrace. Transformation happens there. We experience God in our darkness, in our trembling fear, in our paralyzing anxiety.
God isn't afraid or judgmental of negative emotions…
After we have come aware of God with us, in the muck and mire of our emotions and our lives, we take a deep breath and are able to trust and surrender our normal human needs."
~ From Burned Out to Beloved: Soul Care for Wounded Healers ♥ 105
This Holy Week, this Good Friday may we allow our grief and loneliness to connect us with God, the tender, loving liberator who enters deeply with us into our emotions.
Usually the Western Church rushes joyfully to Easter. Yet, it is by moving through Good Friday, into the emptiness and grief of Saturday, that we can embrace Easter more fully.
May God meet with you in your grief, perhaps inviting you to come stay awake with Jesus as he too weeps in the garden, and experiences the agony of the cross.
I give thanks that together, we look forward to the resurrection,
Bethany Dearborn Hiser
"In the dark, we see the stars."
~ Anne Lamott
Journal Prompts:
What do you do when you feel a strong negative emotion? What are you noticing about your responses? What's your go-to reaction or tactic?
What grief are you carrying right now? How does Jesus want to meet you in your grief?
What do you notice about Jesus in these events?
Prayer Practice: Welcoming Prayer
If you would like to be lead in a Welcoming Prayer meditation, check out this one on Insight Timer
Spend time with these phrases. Breathing in, breathing out, until they become part of your breath.
I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations, and conditions.
I let go of my desire for power and control.
I let go of my desire for affection, esteem, approval, and pleasure.
I let go of my desire for survival and security.
~Thomas Keating, Contemplative Outreach
Resource:
If you want to learn more about the connection to the Twelve Steps, listen to Father Thomas Keating talk about the Welcoming Prayer.
Grateful for you and these words