Becoming People of Mercy
Shores of Mercy. Forgiveness is a process, a gift we give to others, and to ourselves. Healing and transformation starts with forgiveness.
God is mercy. Or, as Merton says, "Mercy within mercy within mercy." Forgiveness is mercy in a minor key. Mercy is love without expectations. Mercy is all "forth" with no concern for return. ~ Greg Boyle, Cherished Belonging
Forgiveness “does not mean giving up one’s protection, but one’s coldness…[it] is an act of creation…You can forgive for now, forgive til then, forgive till the next time…You decide.”[iii]~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing."
~ Luke 23:34
Last year, I shared a reflection (also available below as a guided meditation), on Jesus’ powerful act to equip the trembling disciples who mostly abandoned him, with the power to forgive. Instead of giving them a treatise on the essentials, or a three-point sermon, or even telling them to share the news of his resurrection...he gives them the power to forgive.
He sees them as they are, with the reptiles of the mind, their weaknesses, their fear and uncertainty and chooses them.
Equipped with the Power to Forgive
Through his arriving, breathing and sending, Jesus demonstrates that he has forgiven the disciples. He embodies forgiveness and then invites them into this revolutionary act. Something unimaginable in that day.
In this reflection, I want to invite you to consider this powerful act and process of forgiveness. (See below Guided Meditation to be led in a prayerful practice).
Forgiveness is a gift we give to others, and to ourselves. I often used to tell women that I met with in jail, that forgiveness doesn't mean what someone else did was okay, it is giving them over to God, who is good and just.
Letting go of judgment requires humility. We think holding on to our judgments toward others is protecting ourselves and remembering the hurt that has been done to us, but it only hurts ourselves. Marianne Williamson powerful names in this quote:
“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.” ~Marianne Williamson
Forgiveness is also a process, perhaps a process of a lifetime. Psychiatrist and storyteller Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés invites her clients through four phases of forgiveness.[i]
To forego—to leave it alone; to take a break from thinking about the person or event for awhile.
To forebear—to abstain from punishing; “neither thinking nor acting on it in small or large ways…It means to give a bit of grace to the situation and see how that assists.”[ii]
To forget—to aver from memory, to refuse to dwell; moving it from the foreground to the background of memory.
To forgive—to abandon the debt; “a conscious decision to cease to harbor resentment.”
We are so familiar with the concept of forgiveness, yet we fail to live into it. We live as disembodied people, with so much division, and discord. Even as I consider the discord, I confess that I judge those who foster division.
In especially protestant Christianity, the power of forgiveness and ability to forgive sins, seems to have been taken for granted and not practiced in our divided world.
Imagine for a moment with me, if Christians practiced forgiveness of others and ourselves.
Healing and transformation starts with forgiveness. In this divided, hurting world, may we be people of lament, peace, and forgiveness; receiving forgiveness and extending it others as we move together to the wide shores of mercy.
May we open ourselves in new ways to the resurrected breath of the risen Christ.
Inhale
Exhale
Grace and Peace to you in the process of forgiveness,
Bethany Dearborn Hiser
"Forgiveness is one of the really difficult things in life. The logic of receiving hurt seems to run in the direction of never forgetting either the hurt or the hurter. When you forgive, some deeper, divine generosity takes over. When you can forgive, then you are free. When you cannot forgive, you are a prisoner of the hurt done to you. If you are really disappointed in someone and you become embittered, you become incarcerated inside that feeling. Only the grace of forgiveness can break the straight logic of hurt and embitterment. It gives you a way out, because it places the conflict on a completely different level. In a strange way, it keeps the whole conflict human. You begin to see and understand the conditions, circumstances, or weakness that made the other person act as they did."
~ John O'Donohue, Eternal Echoes
Journal Prompts:
What name or community comes to mind that you hold judgment against? Perhaps someone who influenced your internal narrative, or who represents a different ideology or party politic.
What do you feel in your body?
Consider what phase of forgiveness you are in, as described by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés.
Consider what God might want to give you in place of judgment. As you feel led and ready, extend forgiveness to them.
In silence, sit with what you have received.
Choose Your Own Adventure: Practices & Newsletters
Below are a few resources to continue your reflection.
Receiving Resurrected Breath
As you prepare to enter this story with your imagination, I invite you to take a few deep breaths. Noticing the air as it goes through your nose, windpipes, and into your lungs.
Guided Meditation:
External Resources:
Poem for Meditation: The Hardest Blessing, by Jan Richardson, from The Cure of Sorrow. https://paintedprayerbook.com/2014/09/09/the-hardest-blessing/
Book with art & spiritual practices: Forgive Everyone Everything, by Father Gregory Boyle, SJ, art by Fabian Debora.
This is so
Empowering and inspiring. What a call to action .