Becoming a sommelier of the soul
July Newsletter: On Consolation & Desolation
Spiritual consolation refers to the peace and joy that arise from our center and affect our interior state as a whole. For Ignatius and the biblical tradition he calls on, consolation is much more than the mere comfort for the sorrowful which is the everyday meaning of the term. Consolation releases new energies, widens our vision, and directs us beyond ourselves.
Upcoming Soul Care for Wounded Healer Events
Soul Care Groups: 10-11am PST
Tues August 13th
Tues September 10th
If your first group, please sign up so I can get to know you a bit!
Save the Date:
October-November: Soul Care for Wounded Healers 7-Sessions Group Series for DV/SA Advocates.
December 10th: Year-End Examen
On Consolation & Desolation
Learning to listen and discern the interior movements is core to Ignatian spirituality. It invites a slowing down, a gathering of the parts of ourselves and tuning in instead of just pressing forward with our will and intellect.
Bill Zuelke, my spiritual direction teacher through Soul Formation likens it to a wine connoisseur, or sommelier. In the same way as someone who knows the intricacies of taste to particular wines, discernment is a skill we can develop through practice and training and requires slowing down.
Consolation is not just the feeling of happiness; it may be deep peace amidst grief or sorrow. It is an interior movement of turning toward God and desiring connection with God. Bill Zuelke describes it as, “an effective sense of the presence of the living God that moves us in such a way that we sense an increase in faith, hope, and love.”
Desolation on the other hand is when we turn inward not for reflection and curiosity but out of fear and shame. We close ourselves off to God and experience a disheartened way of being. It can feel like sadness but doesn’t equate with sadness or depression.
Here are a few other notes to consider (Gleanings from Soul Formation’s School of Spiritual Direction, teaching by Bill Zuelke & Dave Wilkinson). I invite you to read slowly, in a sort of lectio divina, noticing if there is one or two that stand out to you.
Consolation & desolation are not dependent on what we do or don’t do. They are spiritual states, not psychological.
If in a season of desolation, be patient. It won’t always be this way.
Don’t make a decision during times of desolation.
Consider acts of resistance. Though desolation/consolation is not dependent on what we do, we can show up, speak with a spiritual director, consider the blocks, turn our heart to God.
Desolation can invite us into deeper connection with God, stripping away some of the barriers to deeper intimacy.
God doesn’t want a transactional relationship, a give and take, but rather joins with us in our lives, offering connection and presence.
Poem for Meditation:
Give Me The Courage To Live, by Howard Thurman
Give me the courage to live!
Really live– not merely exist.
Live dangerously,
Scorning risk!
Live honestly,
Daring the truth–
Particularly the truth of myself!
Live resiliently–
Ever changing, ever growing, ever adapting.
Enduring the pain of change
As though ’twere the travail of birth…
Let me not be trapped by success,
Nor by failure, not pleasure, nor grief,
Nor malice, nor praise, nor remorse!
Journal Prompts:
In the past 24 hours, when have you experienced joy/sorrow?
How have you experienced ‘movements of the soul’?
Recall a time of consolation, what did you notice? How did that feel in your body?
In what ways might patience be active resistance?
What practices help you slow down, reflect, reengage from a grounded place?
I always welcome your comments and reflections!
Grace and courage to you in the pain of change and journey to become a sommalier of the soul. Below are some tools to aid your discovery.
Bethany Dearborn Hiser
RESOURCES
Recommended External Resources:
Check out this free resource by Osheta Moore and Made for Pax, 7 embodied prayers to engage in throughout the day.
Here’s a deck of cards created by Fall Creek Abbey to further your inner exploration:
BURNOUT & RECOVERY RESOURCE LIST (Hay varias en Español también). If you have recommendations, I'd love to hear about them!
INSIGHT TIMER GUIDED MEDITATIONS:
I’ve recorded some of my soul care group meditations for your listening and prayerful contemplation on-the-go. I welcome your rating and sharing of the meditations.
SOUL CARE FOR WOUNDED HEALER: CUSTOMIZED NON-PROFIT WORKSHOPS
Based on the book, From Burned Out to Beloved, workshops integrate discussion questions, grounding activities, trauma research, recovery tools, contemplative practices, and other spiritual disciplines. They seek to improve the overall well-being of individuals, enhance organizational culture, and improve sustainability and effectiveness in work.
Workshop topics can be combined or tailored specifically for your group. Contact me to start the conversation.
Bethany Dearborn Hiser is the Director of Soul Care for Northwest Family Life, a network of therapists trained to work with survivors of domestic violence and sexual trauma.
She is the author of From Burned Out to Beloved: Soul Care for Wounded Healers. For more about her, her book, or workshops she offers, visit: